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We should never assume who the other person is or brag to “conquer” that person

I recently read the story of a man who decided to accompany a friend to a bar when he found out that the friend's girlfriend was coming with a friend. Already in the bar, the man in question had a lively and promising conversation with the woman he had just met, until the man discovered, too late for him, the inexcusable mistake he had made.

It turns out that in addition to the opportunity to meet someone, the man had agreed to go to the bar with his friend to celebrate that this man had found a new job as a software developer, a permanent job in his area of expertise. which would generate a very good income for him.

Therefore, during the conversation with his new friend, this man repeated several times that he had a new job and that he would earn a lot of money. And he said, also several times, that he would work as a software developer, but he didn’t explain his job because it would be “very difficult” for her to understand it.

After several hours and a few drinks, it was time to say goodbye. The man then asked the name of his new friend. She gave it to him and added “I'm on Facebook. Find me there".

The man went to Facebook and found that the woman he had been talking to in the bar for all those hours and to whom he had told that she would never understand computer programs was in fact the founder and president of the company that had just hired him.

The man never showed up for the new job. He shared his story as a warning and an example of being very careful not to assume anything about anyone.

The warning is valid. Many times, we focus excessively on the impact we want to have on the other person, without really thinking, much less feeling, the other person. And that excess, bordering on madness, of seeking to “impress” or “conquer” the other prevents us from seeing how ridiculously we are acting until the results are unfortunate and irreversible.

In this context, it could be said that a key element of treating our neighbor as “another like me”, or, if you prefer, treating the other as we would like to be treated, is not to diminish the value of the other person, much less believe that we are superiors because of our knowledge or income. Even if we have a strong academic background and strong finances, that doesn't make us superior.

In short, if we only see the other as “other”, but never seeing ourselves in the other, be it in all its goodness or in all its monstrosity, that is, if we only see ourselves all the time and regardless of the circumstances, sooner or later the time will come when we ourselves, by our words or actions, will destroy that little narcissistic world of fantasy in which we believe we are insurmountable and invincible.

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