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I doubt I will pass Garbology 101

Francisco Miraval

Life gives us some small (albeit of doubtful taste) pleasures, including, for example, disposing household trash in the proper bags or containers, taking those bags to the “big” trash can and, once a week on the appointed day, taking the “big” trash can out to the waste management truck can do its job.

Being able first to generate and then to dispose trash is, in my opinion, some kind of recognition and even an award for those of us with the capability and the lifestyle to “dispose” what we don’t need anymore, that is, those of us in the hyper-consumerism society where we can impress our neighbors by what we put in the trash.

At the same time, disposing trash is as easy as generating it. In fact, trash just disappears. We put the trash in a trash can, then we move it into a large bag, then into a big trash can, and then a  truck comes and takes the trash away, carrying it to who knows where (but at that time is no longer our problem.)

In fact, disposing household trash is so easy that during many years I “delegated” that important task on my son, but now that he is in college I was forced to perform once again the weekly ritual. However, things are not as easy as they used to be.

Let me explain. I recently received a brochure for the local municipality explaining all the steps I now need to take when I take the trash out. It is not just a series of suggestions. It is, in fact, a Garbology 101 textbook. If this were a real class, I doubt I will pass the final exam.

It seems that I need to use a specific kind of bags when I dispose grass clippings or fallen leaves. And if I trim branches, those branches have to conform to a certain length, diameter, and weight for me to put them in the trash can.

In addition, there are now restrictions regarding the cans, boxes, and bags I can use to dispose normal household waste. There are also restrictions regarding the size of the boxes and of the trash cans I can use, and those restrictions also apply to the maximum weight of those elements.

The brochure also informs me that the trash collection doesn’t include dangerous objects, including chemicals, biological waste, medicaments, paint, or many electronic devices. To dispose those items, I need to call other agencies or companies.

And if I want to get rid of a large item (furniture, for example), I need to call the trash management company in advance and wait for one to two weeks for the item to be picked up. However, the company, at its own discretion, can decide that the item is too large and refuse to take it away.

The above mentioned brochure about Garbology 101 is real (and it also bilingual.) Otherwise, it will be funny. I wonder what I should do with that brochure…

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