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Nothing plus a quarter gives me reason enough to celebrate

Francisco Miraval

According to a well-known tango, a period of 20 years is nothing. I agree with that point of view, but I must add that “nothing plus a quarter,” that is, 25 years, represents such an important segment in our lives that, for that reason, is something to celebrate. That is what I feel this week when my wife and I are celebrating 25 years of marriage.

I remember, with nostalgia and sympathy, the reaction of surprise among members of the church my wife (then my girlfriend) and I used to attend in Buenos Aires when we announced our engagement.

They could not believe that somebody like me, with an almost heretical theology and devoted to the impractical study of philosophy, was able to find not only a girlfriend, but, even more amazing, a wife.

I also remember, with less sympathy, some friendly and unfriendly voice telling me and my wife that our marriage would not last.

Later, when life unexpectedly gave us the opportunity, thanks to an invitation, to continue our careers, studies, and work outside Argentina, the speculations focused not only in how much longer our marriage would last, but also in the “fact” that we would return to Argentina, either together or separated, just a few months after leaving.

A quarter of a century later, that is, “nothing plus a quarter” later, those memories have turned into lessons that taught us not to accept without a careful analysis what others offer as “advice,” even if they do not do it with bad intentions. I discovered many people are more interested in projecting their own limits and desires than in helping others to improve their lives.

It was not an easy road, but we never expected a road without obstacles. Being realistic, but not pessimistic, we know we will also face obstacles in the road ahead, be it 25 more years or whatever God decides.

This long road has taught us that the only thing we truly have is each other and those who love us. Anything else in life, including material possessions, health, employment, and even family and friends, comes and goes.

Whatever the case, we are about to celebrate this “nothing plus a quarter anniversary” in a different country and culture, and even using a different language, than the country, culture and language that surrounded us 25 years ago when we exchanged our wedding vows. We are not the same we were 25 years ago, but, at the same time, our identity remains the same because we still belong to each other.

There will be no big celebrations, just profound, sincere, and private expressions of gratitude. God blessed us in many ways, including to children who are now facing the difficult task of having to educate their parents, who may not be truly willing to learn what it needs to be learned to belong to the future.

We are celebrating “nothing plus a quarter” and, God willing, we will be celebrating many more “nothings” in the future.

 

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