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Two different groups with two very different attitudes

Francisco Miraval

Last week I attended two conferences the same day. In the morning I was at a meeting of Latino immigrant families with children with disabilities. In the afternoon I was at a meeting of White and African-American community leaders. Would you like to guess which group projected a positive attitude and which one focused only on problems and negative thoughts?

There were around 100 people in the morning meeting, most of them immigrants or children of immigrants still trying to adapt to the culture and the life in the United States. They was a wide discrepancy in the level of English spoken at that meeting. Except for a few guests, most of the group lacked college degrees and the average annual family income of the group was certainly low.

There were also around 100 people in the afternoon meeting. Very few of them were immigrants. All speakers and participants exhibited a high level of mastery of the English language and a similar level of formal education. Among the participants, in addition to community leaders, there were college professors, business people, educator, and nationally-recognized experts.

In the morning, I heard several people talking about the “blessing” their disable children brought to their lives. I the afternoon, I heard several people talking about the “misery” of the world and the almost no chance of solving any of its problems.

In the morning, mothers and fathers shared pictures of their children and of their family activities, from taking the children to schools to mountain climbing on a wheelchair. In the afternoon, the speaker shared presentations prepared to highlight the achievements of their respective organizations.

In the morning, people spoke spontaneously, without any script, and from their hearts. In the afternoon, they were reading notes and following the script so closely that in one case the speaker paused his speech for around five minutes until he found the proper page in his notes and then he began to talk again.

In the morning, nobody lamented his or her situation. They all shared information about resources and they promised to help each other for the benefit of their children. In the afternoon, they also spoke about the betterment of the community, but they only shared data, statistics, survey, and information as the basis to change the current negative situation.

In the morning, participants focused on opportunities for them and for the children, and what to do to find and share those opportunities. In the afternoon, speakers focused on the many problems, suffering, and pain they face in their lives.

In a few words, those with almost nothing shared a high level of optimism, while those with almost everything seemed to be already defeated. The first group was ready to work and the second group was certain the end is near. I regretted leaving the first meeting to go to the second one and I consciously decided not to allow the negativity I felt in the afternoon to affect me. It was a very good decision.

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